Thursday, August 12, 2004
Titanic Tagteam of Tornadic Terror
Here they go again the local Press treating the masses to another weather sideshow complete with the fat lady and even LobsterBoy may make an appearance(sunburned tourist).
They're coming right at us, the mantra of late has been echoed nearly every minute on local TV, by the seemingly ever pregnant Weather Chickies whose even though the maps partially hidden by their internalized offspring clearly show a different story.
They oh so excitedly warn us to prepare by; getting flashlights, batteries and not to forget the necessities such as bottled water (incase you use up all the water in your toilet tanks and your tubs.
Not to leave out the fine survival foods things such as meat both potted and canned persuasions and lovely dry goods, which will pretty much stay dry, because you cannot use the water.
Don't forget to take cover, their best suggestion is to hide in your bathtub presumably not the one you fill with water for cooking cleaning etc., and cover yourself with a mattress(this will give the tree limbs crashing through your roof a nice place to rest instead of crashing through your skull. You should already have had your windows prepared with large pieces of plywood, that can live in your garage for nearly all of the year. The real object of the plywood actually has nothing to do with flying limbs much less monkeys. What you can't see can't hurt you.
The worst possible idea you could have is to be foolish enough to try to report a power outage.
Calling the local power Company will get you lost in a labyrinthian push button hell from which you may never escape. This is best left to your neighbors who have nothing better to do because they can't see out of their windows either
They're coming right at us, the mantra of late has been echoed nearly every minute on local TV, by the seemingly ever pregnant Weather Chickies whose even though the maps partially hidden by their internalized offspring clearly show a different story.
They oh so excitedly warn us to prepare by; getting flashlights, batteries and not to forget the necessities such as bottled water (incase you use up all the water in your toilet tanks and your tubs.
Not to leave out the fine survival foods things such as meat both potted and canned persuasions and lovely dry goods, which will pretty much stay dry, because you cannot use the water.
Don't forget to take cover, their best suggestion is to hide in your bathtub presumably not the one you fill with water for cooking cleaning etc., and cover yourself with a mattress(this will give the tree limbs crashing through your roof a nice place to rest instead of crashing through your skull. You should already have had your windows prepared with large pieces of plywood, that can live in your garage for nearly all of the year. The real object of the plywood actually has nothing to do with flying limbs much less monkeys. What you can't see can't hurt you.
The worst possible idea you could have is to be foolish enough to try to report a power outage.
Calling the local power Company will get you lost in a labyrinthian push button hell from which you may never escape. This is best left to your neighbors who have nothing better to do because they can't see out of their windows either
